I hope that you update soon this book is really good. :)
I just finished chapters one, two, and three. Wow! You were right when you said you would a lot more action! The fact that these creatures seem to be following them is terrifying. Throughout this new draft, I am able understand why Amelia is friends with Munster. He helps get and cares for her, despite his crude mannerisms. I can't wait to see what new things you come up with for this story :)
I finished the first chapter. Well done! The narration is much clearer, and the story is even more intriguing! Those creatures - whatever they were - sent shivers up my spine as I read. A very good job!
I did notice, on the bottom of page seven, a missing quotation mark. Just a note.